Of all the questions i've been asked in my life - from what is the atomic weight of Carbon? to what are your feelings for me? to is that your THUMB?!? - i'd say the hardest is what have you been up to? It's the question you get at a gathering when running into someone you haven't seen for a few years but never really knew all that well in the first place (which is why they, in fact, don't know what i've been up to. if they were a part of my life, or talked to me more than once a decade, they'd already know). With the advent of Facebook, it has gotten worse. At least once a month, a San Diego classmate will add me as a friend with the note: OMG! What have you been up to?? You mean, since middle school? Since I was 11 years old? I've been up to quite a few things, none of which are easily shared in a Facebook message. Over time, i've experimented with a few approaches to the question, to varying degrees of success, and wanted to share them with you:
IRREVERENT HUMOR
Because the honest answer to the question is inherently depressing (in my case, what i've been up to, in, say, the past nine months is "going to work, watching tv and cleaning the toilet" which inherently kills a conversation), I offer a random response. I've tried:
Petting things.
Going to the Kaiser's house.
Carpet decor.
This approach usually does not work as whomever I am addressing doesn't know me well, and either takes my answer as the truth or recognizes it for an awkward attempt at humor. Either way, they are disgusted and move on, as in move on past me with an odd look in their eyes. Any attempt to sarcastically mock this question through a nonsensical answer should be used sparingly.
HONESTY
When feeling uninspired, or awkward, I will answer the question with an accurate explanation of what I have, in fact, been up to since middle school:
Well after middle school, I went to high school, and then college, up in the Bay Area, then I moved to San Francisco, then I moved to New York, then I got engaged .. and that about brings me current.
Usually, I'll spackle on a thick pasting of explicit details which make the email, or personal exchange, somewhat more serious and lengthy than I'm assuming the person intended. Usually, in response to my honesty, I receive this answer:
Cool!
CLICHES
This is the most common response, and probably one the questioner is secretly hoping for. This response consists of:
Not much.
Nothing.
Nothing much.
Nothing ... Nothing much at all.
Then you turn it around and say what about you? Then he says nothing. Then you sip your drink, or close your browser, and call it a conversation, or, in this case, a blog. And in the future, if you haven't been around enough to know what i've been up to, go ahead and skip filling yourself in on my past ten years of life, and instead ask me where I'm headed, since that hasn't happened yet and might make better conversation.