The difference between New York and London first dripped into my consciousness while hovering over the bathroom urinal in a four-hundred-year old Pub, emptying my bladder of the unusable elements of an imperial pint of Fuller's London Pride. A quick glance revealed the presence of three total urinals in the meticulous bathroom, each with a drain connecting to a larger, single pipe disappearing into the ground. It was bathroom space, maximized. One drain, three urinals, and nobody waiting. Most bars in New York, with tiny bathrooms sized for a youthful fairy, possess a single toilet, to accommodate urine and all else. As a result, bathroom lines are common in New York. Like most things In London, regulation, planning, and common sense has solved the problem.
In larger terms, the difference is one of pure comfort. Continuing the pub as a microcosm: Why three urinals instead of one? Because waiting in line is uncomfortable. Why do pubs have more seats than patrons? Because standing while you drink is uncomfortable. Why do pubs close at 11 PM instead of 4 AM? Because waking up hungover is uncomfortable. Why do they play music at low volumes? Because yelling across the table at someone is uncomfortable. It is the perfect town for old, lazy, impatient people, of which I count myself.
New York is organized chaos. London is just organized.
Organization comes at a cost: You always know what to expect. When you order a vodka soda, you get exactly 250 milliliters of vodka, as measured by their dispenser. The tube stops running exactly at 11 PM. BBC runs like a clock. Londoners I know now living in New York point to this predictability as a reason for leaving.
Every city has the sites you must see. Thus far, I've seen most of London's version of these things: Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster, Trafalgar Square, St. Paul's, Buckingham Palace. The sheer age and historical relevance of the buildings is indeed epic, particularly because they are essentially all right next to each other and play host to a near infinite crowd of impressive names who have shaped life as we know it. That said, the true heart of London unveils itself when walking down the side streets. It is here that history literally spills into the street like garbage. There is the brown-and-white 15th century house where Prince Henry wrote by candle. There is the two-story office where Samuel Johnson inked the first ever dictionary. There is the pub where Voltaire, Dickens, and Twain would stumble around drunk. There is the church where the first Londoners to emigrate to the New World made their wedding vows.
Dragonhair and I being Dragonhair and I, we picked the coldest day of the year when most things are closed, Boxing day, to conduct our primary tour London with one hat and no gloves between us. But when you are traveling with Dragonhair, you won't be going into any of the the sites anyway, so all the better that they are closed.
Any thought that London is more expensive than New York fails to take into account two facts: a beneficial exchange rate and lack of tipping. This last fact in particular makes all the difference. When you remove 20% tipping costs from dinner and bar tabs, you are saving money. As a result, beers and food have been cheaper here than in New York. Public transportation is generally more expensive, but not by much.
These are all things you would know if Dragonhair had posted blogs in the last year of living here, but as he hasn't, I saw fit to share these things with you.