misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

Due to my languishing career, I have had well-too much time for blogs, which has resulted in the Moby Dick-esque length you have recently experienced. I'll keep this one short. I've been combing through Citysearch and Menupages to find the right restaurant to take Jill's parents for dinner tomorrow, as they are coming in to town. While reading reviews for the expensive, trendy restaurant Mercer Kitchen, I came across this comment from gqleone:

celebrated my 24th Birthday here with 25 of my closest friends. A definite "must eat". Try the chocolate cake- Ill make the trip to Soho just to order that.

25 of your closest friends? There are so many things wrong with this superficial declaration, I can only point out a few, as I promised to keep this blog short. First of all, nobody on this earth has 25 friends, even if you include both close and distant friends. Hell, you could even throw in all of your enemies and still not reach 25. Secondly, by stating only her "closest" friends were there, she is implying she has many more friends, probably over 100, all with different titles. Closest, close, somewhat close, lost touch with but still love, not-too-close, and distant. Apparently, ggleone is so popular, she was only able to invite her "closest" friends to her birthday. Thirdly, if someone thinks they have 25 "close" friends, it is painfully evident she has incredibly low, superficial standards for what constitutes a friend. She is like those girls I used to come across in high school and college who'd call you their best friend within three days. I guess you could have 25 "close" friends, if you included co-workers, landlords, people who work at Chili's, and pigeons. Ggelone, I would argue, probably has no real friends, and no real depth, but does has a lot of people who go shopping with her that she considers close. Close friendship isn't hard when you have only about three thoughts to share with other people.

And you guys wonder why I'm pissed off all the time. Fuck.

In any event, the question for tomorrow stands as this: Do you take Jill's parents to the cool, trendy, loud, busy NY restaurant so they can have a NY experience (Mercer Kitchen)? Or the overly-touristy, gimmicky, "cute" restaurant that tourists flock to (Oyster Bar at Grand Central)? Or the quiet, but affordable, neighborhood restaurant (Alonso's Steakhouse). You have twenty minutes to place your vote before a decision is made. At that time, I'll have to call 25 of my closest friends to get their opinions.