misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

Congratulations, Reverends Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson, Oprah Winfrey and all you other activist black people. You managed to get a 66-year-old cantankerous, racist, old white guy fired for making a stupid statement (even though the whole reason people listen to him is the first place is because he makes stupid statements). It is good he was fired. Why? Let the intelligent Al Sharpton explain, "We cannot afford a precedent established that the airways can commercialize and mainstream sexism and racism." And as Jessie added, "No one should use the public airwaves to transmit racial or sexual degradation."

Really? No one should use airwaves to transmit racial or sexual degradation? Or just white people? Because if we are going to enforce the idea that the public airwaves shouldn't be used to transmit racism or sexual degradation, let's go all the way. Let's wipe all hip-hop off of every radio station in the country. Let's take a single sample from a 50-cent song that blasted the airwaves a few years ago, "P.I.M.P": "I holla at a hoe til I got a bitch confused .. Man this hoe you can have her, when I'm done I ain't gon keep her .. Man, bitches come and go, every nigga pimpin know .. Bitch choose with me, I'll have you stripping in the street." That is pretty much representative of every hip-hop song in the past 10 years. If you need more examples, feel free to request them. I have hundreds.

Is it just my white, racist perspective on the world, or does 50-Cent seem to have a lot in common with Don Imus? He calls black women hoes, black people niggas, and, as both Jackson and Sharpton can agree, transmits racism and sexual degradation on the public airwaves. Funny, though, I've never heard either of them complain about 50-Cent.

And let's keep the public airwave cleansing going. Let's wipe out every black comic, especially Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, and Dave Chappelle, for spreading the same racism and sexual degradation. Let's wipe out any interviews with black athletes of any sport. And any movie made by a Wayans brother.

For all the talk made about how racist and stupid Don Imus is, it sure seems to be a one-sided argument. At some point, it became ok for a black man to be racist and sexist, but not a white man. Sharpton's entire essence revolves around defending the rights of black people everywhere, and yet he never seems to protect them from themselves. Where do you think Don Imus learned the term, "nappy headed hoes"? From a hip-hop song, most likely. Or from a Eddie Murphy joke, which is where I learned most of the black stereotypes I have today. I'd suggest Sharpton and Jackson spend a little less time invoking furor over the stupid, ignorant statements of some old white fucker, and a little more time on the people that everyone actually listens to.

I'm sure the world is a better place now, and a little less racist, now that Don Imus has lost his job. God forbid jokes or alternative opinions exist in this country. Jackson and Sharpton are ensuring that. We live in a world where everyone is so fucking sensitive that anything said by anyone is grasped upon by publicity-hungry reverends and fat talk show hosts. Forgive me if I don't have immense sympathy for people being called a name. I've been called names since I was old enough to hear. Right now, Al Sharpton can announce on his radio show that Mark Kenneth Anderson is a chalk-white, big-eared, rhythm-less, pear-shaped piece of shit. And I could care less. Maybe that is because I'm not famous? Well, I'd argue he could get on air and call Steve Nash the exact same thing, and still, nobody would complain. (who could argue? are there even white equivalents to Al Sharpton? white reverend activists?)

I'd like to end with a quote from Oprah Winfrey, who was kind enough to host the Rutgers woman's basketball team on her show. In her usual patronizing, arrogant, full-of-total-shit manner, she finished her show by saying: "I want to borrow a line from Maya Angelou, who is a personal mentor of mine and I know you all feel the same way about her. And she has said this many times, and I say this to you, on behalf of myself and every woman that I know, you make me proud to spell my name W-O-M-A-N."

This quote actually has nothing to do with what this blog, but, I mean, is it me, or does she just suck something awful? Personal mentor? W-O-M-A-N? What the fuck are you talking about, Oprah? Can't you tone down the smugness just a little? And what does spelling woman have to do with anything? Proving you can spell? If Maya Angelou is your mentor, you might wanna get a new mentor that has something to say other than spellings of words. In typical Oprah fashion, she says something as if it is deep and meaningful, when in fact it means nothing. Unfortunately, she wasn't fired like the white dude who was actually twice more entertaining.

Anyway, I'm out. Like snoop dogg likes to say, "Hoes recognize, niggaz do too." Such insightful lyrics need to be referenced more. That's where Don Imus went wrong -- If he wanted to make a stupid statement, all he had to do is quote the people who are first to condemn him.