A few months ago, Jill and I received a "Save The Date" card from a friend of hers. The date we were supposed to save was July 5, 2007.
I immediately began to grow anxious. What is wrong with July 5, 2007? Why does it need to be saved? Is July 5th, 2007 under threat of endangerment? By whom? The terrorists? Congress? Seagulls? Is God or the moon thinking of eradicating this day? Do I need to donate money to save it? Because I'd feel simply awful if somehow July 5th, 2007 was on its way to extinction and I didn't do my part to save it.
I was in a full terror. Soon, however, Jill was able to calm me down by suggesting that the "Save the Date" card was simply a gentle reminder not to make plans on July 5, 2007, because her friend's wedding was that day. Jill gracefully pointed out the "mark you calendars" call-to-action on the card. This was instantly problematic for me, primarily because I don't have a calendar, so was unsure what exactly I should mark. It occured to me, however, that even if I did have a calendar, what else could I possibly have saved that day for, considering it is eight months away? The gym? Buying new sneakers? Would I look at that day and think, "Shit, that's unfortunate. I've already saved that day for trying that new pizza restaurant down on Smith Street." And if I had something already planned on a day eight months away, it would probably be exceedingly important. Like, say, brain surgery. Or becoming the third-ever civilian to enter space. Something I certainly wouldn't cancel for some wedding. I mean, hell, even if I already had a vacation planned for that day, I wouldn't postpone that for a wedding, either. So, essentially, I am saving the date from some boring plans I might make the day before the wedding. Like if Age and Amanda asked me to go to a movie, I'd have to say, "Sorry, can't. Got a wedding. I've saved the day."
An even more immediate problem with any "Save the Date" card is that not only am I usually unable to save any date beyond a two-day timeframe, I am also usually unable to save a card. If you send me a small 2 x 2 inch card eleven months before the event described on that card, the chances I will still have that card eleven months later is quite slim. Pretty much the only chance you have is to send me a "Save the Card" card eleven months before, so that when I get a card a bit later, I'll know I have to save it, assuming I haven't lost the "Save the Card" card by then.
In any event, for any of you reading this, don't even think of trying to get me to agree to dinner plans eight months from now, because I've got a wedding to go to.