misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

I believe certain professions have a mandatory set of requirements associated with them. In other words, those without certain assets cannot effectively do certain jobs. There are both physical requirement and intellectual requirements. As an example of a physical requirement, a professional football quarterback should have arms. It would seem to me that his job, throwing or handing off a football, would be fairly dependant on the use of arms and hands. As an example of an intellectual requirement, a java programmer should know java. As Silicon Valley proves, java programmers don't even need to know English. But Java .. that's a requirement.

Another example of this was demonstrated on my flight yesterday from Seattle to NYC. I believe in order to be a flight attendant, you should possess certain attributes. And just as a quaterback should have arms, I feel a flight attendant should have a somewhat trim body. I am not talking supermodel, but I am talking about having a body that can at least fit through an airplane aisle. Now, i've come to grips with the fact that the hey-day of hot, young stewardesses from the 50's and 60's is a thing of the past. No more short skirts, pretty faces, and nice perfume. Hell, I'm even ok with today's infection of 68-year old, pissed-off, over-paid flight attendants that dominate the modern airlines. But enough is enough. I experienced a flight attendant yesterday who literally could not walk down the aisle without bumping everyone because of her gigantic ass. It was an 8 am flight, and i was tired as shit, so all I wanted was some sleep. And right when I would doze off, on four separate occasions, there was the ass in my face, bumping me hard enough to wake up. She looked a bit like that mom from "throw mama from the train" and "goonies", only shorter. and fatter. I mean, come on. How do you get to this place in your career? You don't have much to have to stay on top of as a flight attendant .. basic speech .. the ability to push a cart .. and to pour a tomato juice into a cup while standing .. so how can you not have the time to stay below four-hundred pounds? I know how good that airline food is .. and you eat five hundred pretzels a day .. but still. As a flight attendant, you should always retain the ability to physically move through an airline aisle. I have stopped asking you to be friendly or pretty. Just simply don't bump my face without your wad of blubber everytime you walk by. It is like a whale trying to squeeze through a shower drain. And it is a deriliction of duty. And i'm sick of it.