misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

I have nothing against family heirlooms. Nice, classical trinkets that remind you of past family members. They are nice for telling stories, and for showing proper respect to your family ancestory. However, I believe all family heirlooms should be subject to certain rules. I believe that any family heirloom should weigh less than ten pounds, and be smaller than two feet by two feet. The wooden bedroom armoire that serves as the family heirloom I have been given to keep safe does not pass any of these general rules of thumbs. It is big, clunky, and heavy. Yes, I know that is came from my grandma, and yes i know that it was my mother's favorite piece of furniture as a young girl in North Dakota, and yes i know that it is an antique, and yes i know that it means something to my family ... but man, all of this doesn't mean much when carrying that thing up four flights of stairs ... What is wrong with some earrings or a watch or something? Or if it has to be big, at least make it useful .. an antique beer cooler, or antique DVD player .. Or if it is heavy, at least it could be valuable .. like the expensive oak dining table my sister took .. or the china cabinet .. I don't even know exactly what an armoire is .. I have no idea how to use it. It is kinda like a cross between a small closet and a dresser .. But it doesn't serve as either .. We've found it fits nicely as an extension cord storage center. But the thing with family heirlooms is that you should be able to control when and where you see it .. like if it was a watch, I could keep it in my sock drawer, and bring it out every now and then when i wanted to tell a story or reminisce .. But intstead, it is always there .. reminding .. I don't even know what the stories are about this thing anymore .. I know my mom had it as a kid, and that is about it .. but i am sure my mom had a toothbrush as a kid too .. that would be easier to care for .. the worst part is that this thing isn't even good looking .. it doesn't have that old midwest craftmanship look to it .. it is just this big hunk of worn-out plywood that has drawers .. When I am old and have kids, I am going to give them a family heirloom .. It will be a big box filled with bricks and stones, wrapped up in paper .. I will tell them that they are unable to unwrap it until twenty years after my death .. then, when they unwrap it, they will discover it was nothing but bricks and stones .. only, I will include a note telling them to rewrap the box, and pass it on to their children .. with any luck, i can pass this box on for centuries .. either that, or i'll just buy a the heaviest piano i can find, tell some stories about it, and make my kids feel guilty if they try to sell it .. that might be better .. regardless, to any family members reading this .. i'll trade you heirlooms .. debbie, i'll take those earrings or that watch in exchange for this armoire .. give me a call.

P.S. Just so you can't say you don't learn anything by reading my blog: armoire is french for "beautiful wardrobe". come by lee and sy's place to look at the armoire, in case you are still unsure of actually what one looks like.