For the past two years, I have vigorously attempted to cleanse myself of any and all responsibility. As i sit here typing on my broken-down laptop on Taj's couch in upper Harlem, I can confidently say I have met my goal. In the past two years, I have rid myself of my car, my apartment, my clothes, my piano, my savings account, and my stuffed animals. Thanks to the selfless generousity of my friends, I have remained rent-free for six months. Expenses are low, and couch use is high. I keep the sum total of my possessions in a large Kenneth Cole duffel bag that I tote around from state to state (and a few boxes in Kenny's garage--kenny, if you are reading this, i'll come get those boxes any day now). My current situation is a reaction against the responsibilities placed upon me (and most of those reading this) as a 21-year old college graduate. By my 22nd birthday, I had a 401k, an IRA, an American Express card, and a career. For me, it was too much, too early. I couldn't appreciate it. I wanted to drop it all, and feel free of the stress that maintaining a real life placed upon me. Going to the same office every day for years, paying PG+E bills, car insurance premiums ... meeting with financial planners ... I wanted none of it. And so I got rid of it all. It was liberating.
However, as a 28 year old man living on a friend's couch with no job, no money, no car, no girl, and no identifiable life, I think it is time to build something once again. After a nice break, I can now say I am ready for responsibility. Each morning I wake up, I stare up at the worn plaster ceiling of Taj's living room, and realize that I could be abducted by aliens for about twelve days before any single person would even realize i was missing. Actually, I could probably go about a good, solid month, before anyone would be aware. And the only reason someone would know then, is because Taj or Reyes would notice that my fantasy baseball team was starting an injured player. So they'd know something had to be drastically wrong. I believe my first new possession will be a bed. When I get a job, I will go to a Sleep Center and purchase a nice, comfortable bed. As much as couches and futons can serve well, it doesn't replace the bed. After that, a Playstation 2. After that, I can say I will be ready for the wife, house, kids, and white picket fence. And if any of you ever need a nice futon to sleep on for a few years, I'm your man.