The Middle East peace roadmap has lasted nearly a week before the first bus bombing! Awesome. I'd like to pay tribute to the patience of both sides in going nearly one whole week without exploding a nail-packed bomb upon a crowded transportation vehicle. The Middle East crisis is one of the leading indicators that humanity, in its essence, is fundamentally stupid. Or rather, the stupid people are able to hold all intelligent people hostage through their foolishly cyclical acts.
Speaking of intellecutals, I'd like to now reference a quote by George Bush upon hearing about the most recent Israeli bombing. He condemned the bombing and then continued to say "I call upon all the free world...to use every ounce of their power to prevent them." As a former English major, I feel obligated to ask some questions about this statement:
1) By referring to the "free world" as a single entity, are you then able to refer to "their power"? Is free world an actual person somewhere? Is it a world different than earth? How come we haven't heard about this planet? Is it a rock group? Is Norway the free world? What about Albania? Wouldn't these places be free countries rather than free worlds? Can you refer to a country as a world? And is their power all the same? Can Albania and Norway and the rock group work together to use their collective power in an attempt to stop something or other? What about the prisoners that live in Norway? Are they part of this free world, or only the non-prisoner free people of Norway? And since this free world is a single place, where is the phone number that George Bush is calling? Or is he just calling out in general, hoping that his words carry to this free world? I hope they have good ears or phones or something.
2) George Bush wants the "free world" (discussed above) to use "every ounce of their power" to take some action. Since when can power be measured in terms of the metric system? I always thought of power as an intangible characteristic of a man, not as something that can be weighed. Maybe if you took out the part of the brain that controlled power instincts, and weighed it, it would be weighed in ounces. Or maybe symbols of power, like an M-1 Abrams tank, can be weighed. Although if it were, it wouldn't be referenced in ounces. It would be measured by tons. So how come you aren't referring to "every ton of their power"? When did someone decide power can only be weighed in ounces? It doesn't sound very intimidating. I'd like to think that the free word has more than a few ounces of power. That doesn't sound like a whole lot of power. That would mean the free world could be defeated by a single person who had only a few pounds of power. This is a scary thought! Why are we invading Iraq and worried about uranium when we should rather be looking for people carrying around buckets of power? I wonder if the Army knows about this so-called "power".
3) So George is calling upon this free world "to use every ounce of their power to prevent them". Who the fuck is "them"? If the free world, wherever this world is in the solar system, actually hears George's call, will they even know where to send their ounces of power? And what exactly are they trying to prevent? Them? I would have a hard time finding "them". Would I go to the bars around San Francisco and asked if anyone has seen "them"? And what if someone has actually seen them? What if he sent me off and I was able to find them? I would have to prevent them. But prevent this mysterious "them" from doing what? What if "them" was a really nice group of people and I didn't want to prevent them from doing anything at all? No wonder the CIA cannot catch any of the bad people. They are cruising around the Middle East asking if anyone has seen "them". Maybe if they had a name or two, we'd have better luck with this whole terrorist search.
Just some thoughts.