T Diddy :: Your Friendly Black Dentist

ESPN stands for Ebony Sucking Penis Network. The penis network is 'Quite Frankly', terrible. The downfall of pure sporting news and highlights began when I graduated from college. This is the time when Stuart Scott began to bastardize the English language to make highlights seem hip. The last thing I need is to hear, "BAM! Geez Up, but it ain't no fun if the homies cannot have none." when Ray Lewis levels Eddie George cutting through the #2 hole. I just do not need commentary like that.

This pitiful display of sporting news did not stop. It now at an ultimate low. Now, ESPN has 20 minute melodramatic specials within the Sports Center program about kids with diseases and unfortunate handicaps living a dream of meeting their sport stars. Now, I do not mean to seem insensitive because what the superstar athletes are doing is really truly something great. However, I do not want to see a 20 minute production trying to touch my softer side when I am trying to catch up on the days sport results and breaking news stories. I want 'He said she said' dramatics between TO and McNabb. I want the 500 ft home-run from Pujols. And I definitely want the 75 yard TD run from Cadillac Williams. I definitely do not want the life story of Steve McDougal, who is retarded, has no friends, and loves Kurt Warner and Jesus while he struggles liking himself. This story is best saved for Barbara Walters and Connie Chung. If I wanted to see drama like this, I would Tivo 'Days of Our Lives' or 'As the World Turns'. The Ebony Penis Sucking Network has really destroyed the art of sporting news programs. Thank God for www.foxsports.com. If it were not for that site, I would not get any sporting news.
For those that are watching ESPN, you should stop. However, I know that you are enthralled with Black Penis and its effects, I know, are mesmerizing. Believe me , as a black man, I do know.

While living off of Wolfe Rd in Sunnyvale in a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment with Mark and Bart, I was known to be Tajin it. I would reject invitations to play basketball in order to go change the car's oil, get a haircut, grocery shop, and pick up toiletries on Saturdays. My penchant for handling my business on the weekends allowed Bart and Mark use their creative juices to label running errands as 'Tajin' It'.

Well, since returning from my honeymoon, I have been Tajin it. There is a lot to do before school begins at the end of August. The beautiful thing is that Tajin it is better than ever before. If my avid readers do not know, I love Target. Target is a great place to buy a DVD for $7.99 and 3 boxes of cereal for $5. They have great deals and the quality is fantastic. My friends, Target is better than ever now. I am not sure this pertains to all of the stores, but I found one that now has Taco Bell. "Get out of here," you may say. It is true. I can now shop at my favorite store, work up an appetite, and then eat at the best chain restaurant ever. Taco Bell is the best fast food one can buy. In fact, it was the staple of my diet while in school to maintain the chiseled piece of iron I was.

I am just too excited about this discovery. In fact, I am about to go buy Wedding Crashers and 2 bean burritos with extra red sauce, a nacho supreme with no meat, and a chicken meximelt.

The last 5.5 years, I have lived on the East coast. And for the past 5.5 years, I have suffered through the most unbearable summers that I never knew existed. I realized today that growing up in the Golden State, I was beyond spoiled when it came to the weather. Blue skies with fluffy cotton balls provided periodic shade in the breezy 88 degree weather. It never rained and it never was too hot to go outside to enjoy the weather. It would often reach 100 degrees, but you could still would not mind going outside although the preference was to remain indoors. That was my life during the summer before February 11, 2001.

I now live in Philadelphia. There is only one word that describes the summers. They "suck!" The typical weather is hazy, hot, and humid. Did I mention hazy? There is a constant haze over the Philadelphia metro area annoys your skin like a wool blanket. The haze is predominate that I actually forgot what a blue sky and clouds looked like. When you look up you only see the gray wool and the water vapor in the air. The humidity is unbearable. I am a man that sweats very easily. When I go outside and take one step, I lose 1 pound of water. I do not even want to go outdoors at any hour of the day. I only want to sit inside where the AC is on full blast. When you do not work, this is the only way to spend your summers if you want to survive. Do you not agree with me that the weather does suck?

To make matters worse, the last two days the weather miraculously changed for the better. The haze and humidity disappeared. It is warm with a slight breeze. Yes, that same breeze that was felt cruising down Benton Street on the red Honda Elite 80. I want to enjoy the weather, but I know it will only last for a short time. It will soon disappear and the three H's will return. Why get excited when you know that the weather will only become worse. This nice weather is just a tease. Just like when you think you are going to get some and your friend cock blocks you. You get excited, but quickly experience pain and discomfort from the letdown. This sucks!!!!

I will be the first one to admit that I do not understand the subtle complexities of the relationship between Israel and surrounding Arab nations. What I can say for certain is that regardless the reason, the recent situation in Lebanon is disturbing. These feeling came after viewing photos of the destruction in Beirut. In simplest terms, Israel has invaded another country. However, the Lebanese government are not the ones that attacked Israel. The aggressor is a rebellious party. Although, media and Israel and US governments want to label them as gorillas. I pose the argument that the real gorillas in this situation are Israel and the US. This is not anti-US speak on my behalf, but merely a view many Arab folk would agree with. Besides, Rice is not an attractive woman. She is a monkey. Let me get back to the point. Israel proclaimed they will not stop until Hezbollah is neutralized. Well, if I study the US's invasion and elimination of the 'evil-doers', I would have to say that it does not work. It seems that all it does is create more bitterness and violence against not only innocent citizens but the occupying party. It is like observing Rice growing Bush. Even worse is watching Bush growing inside Rice. Either scenario does not work. Lets stop this madness. The disruption of family homes, communities and cities is not acceptable no matter how government officials portray it.

One of the all time classic stories from the my college crew is that of Mark and his blunt smoking roommate in the Alamedas our sophomore year. The stories are abundant. They all seem to have one thing in common. This is the fact that Mark would always return from school to find Billy, his boys Mellow, Crazy Bob, Winston, and George (I think this was his name) smoking a blunt and making beats. They used to smoke so much weed they did not know that they were being disrespectful of Mark's space. They used to eat the food from his care packages from his Mom. Mark would have to hind the package in Hecy's and Slaven's shower next door just to have a snack every now and then from his own package. The blunt smokers would even fall asleep in Mark's own bed. This fools actually became comfortable, snuggled in between the sheets an, slept like it was their own bed. If you think Mark talks a lot about anything, then I beseech you to ask him about Billy the Kid and his crew.

I thought about these memories because it seems the Michael Vick is a blunt smoker too. This just shows you that the fool is not smart. Here is a link of him acting like Billy the Kid with what Sy would call his hoochie mama.

Michael Vick Smoking a Blunt