Thailand Revisited
I found this tonight in my email. It relives my Thailand experience. Kind of crazy.
This is a little long, but something that I must share with those who are close with me. Last night I experienced the most terrifying night of my life. Here I am on one of the most beautiful islands I have ever seen in my life. It is a little island in the south of Thailand called Koh Pha Ngan. This island is actually the piece of land that the book "The Beach" is based on. The day was fantastic. Not to make of those who are working upset, but my day consisted of waking up, eating breakfast, laying on the white sand, challenging the ocean with my raw strength, and going back to napping on the beach. Also throw in there some watermelon fruit shakes and some beer. The day was lovely. The evening began with nice meal that consisted of rice and shrimp with basil. This ofcourse, was washed down with a nice cold beer. During the meal, my buddy and 3 other dudes we met, two from the US and another from the UK, met these group of girls from Australia (Kim I know you like that part). After chatting a bit we complete the session with a game of hearts. Now it was time to hit the little bar. Now keep in mind that this island has not form of law and the town only had a Thai population of maybe 200 people. Throw in a handful of foriegners that live there and than the 100 torists than you have the complete town. This little beach just recently got electricty no more than 5 years ago. This is a typical village where everybody knows everybody or are related. Let the story proceed. We went to this bar called the Jungle Bar. Believe me, when the night was over, the bar lived up to its name. We arrived to find the Australian woman present. Us, the woman, and the bartenders. Needless to say, the Aussie woman were tipsy and one was really toying around with every guy in the bar. She was especially flirting hard with a Thai bartender. Dancing, blowing kisses, holding hands, and just about anything to make this man hard. The night goes on. We drink some beers and then my boy, Ryan, graduates to Thai whiskey. I being in chill mode, did not drink the whiskey. However, I did accept the drink to keep my boy's spirtits up. Eventually, Ryan decides to do a body shot with the girl. It was a nice body shot I must say, cuz homegirl was FinE!!! I am watching this in slow motion with my new US companion, Ken from Nashville. Immediately after the lime kiss, the previous bartentender threw a glass of water in my boys face. Here I am thinking, "What the hell just happend. That son of a bitch threw a glass of water in my boys face. Damn, Ryan is pist. Shit, we are on some foreign country in a remote island in the middle of nowhere." Being the cool, calm and collect man that I am I was going to walk over to calm Ryan down, tell bar-fuck he was wrong, and leave. I knew we could would that 150 pound bastered with a flick of a finger, but we are on foriegn turf and it does not matter. Lets just continue to enjoy the night. Well, before I can do my usual peace keeping activities, Ken rushes over and spashes his beer in the bartenters face. The bartender rushes after Ken and Ryan grabs the twirp with one arm and threw his ass down like the Rock (it was a sweet take down). I rush over to pull Ryan and Ken back to get the fuck out of dodge. All I had in my mind was Broken Down Palance and Return to Paridise. I am not a fool. I get over there between Ryan and twirp boy only to see that he pulled a knife twice the size of Rambo. My heart was outside my body by now. I somehow got Ryan out of the corner he was in and pushed him and Ken outside. I screamed for the other guy to get his things so we can get out of there. By this time the bartender was restrained and the knife was put away. I was trying to calm everybody down,but that is like trying to stop a hungry baby from crying. Ryan and Ken begin to walk outside when bartend basterd picks up a coconut and chucks it for them. He was beyond pissed. I would be to getting slammed in the fashion that Ryan took him down. However, he deserved it. Were outside and I apologize to the bartender and offer to pay for any unpaid drinks. He said just leave. So we did. Walking down the pitch black beach about a 1/2 mile to get back to our bungalow. I told everybody that our only choice is to leave first thing tomorrow. The town is too small and we are in his hometown. We are the bad guys no matter what. Cool heads were coming, but not quite yet. Steam still had to be released. However, they agreed with the assessment. Away from the Jungle bar, we went to a bar near our room. Everybody needed a beer to close the evening. Especially since Ryan's finger was sliced from the knife. This was no time to show that I was a bigger man than this fool. I want to see my boys back home before I go. We all wanted to stay on the island because it was so beautiful. However, the only way that can be achieved is if we save "face" and apologize to the man. Before we can turn to do just that, two guys appeared out of the dark, ran up and spitted on Ryan. There momentum carried them 10 feet past Ryan and behind me since I was sitting to the right of him. I turned to homeboy trying to tell homeboy to stay cool, but he refused when he threw and beer glass at Ryan's head. Before I knew it, Ryan got around me and was tussling withbitchboy. Bar patrons grabed the asshole and I grabbed Ryan. I was yelling, "Let's go!" This is when the bitch ass decided to pull something that looked like a gun from his buddys pants. Shit, you thought my heart was out before. This time it was going. Adreline was had taken over. All I know is that he was pointing it and it looked like a gun. People where grabbing him and I was still yelling "Let's go!". Finally, I got Ryan, Ken, and Mark to follow. With my tender feet that can barely walk on sand, took up top speed up a rocky dirtpath up the hill to our bungalow. I opened the door and got Ryan and Mark inside. Ken went further up to his one cottage. I was in the process of locking the windows when I heard voices. It was so silent, Sprint would have been proud. At one point, somebody rattled our door knob. We were by the door clinched fist ready to rumble. We were all frightened. We did not want to get shot out in the middle of nowhere. Nor did we want to get beat by 50 people. The whole night we kept an eye out for any intruders or wanderers. We stayed near the ground and did not make a sound. I think I may have gotten 1 hour of sleep, but I am not sure. The sun finally rose. That signaled only 4 more hours until the taxi left to the go through the mountains on a nighmare dirt road. You have to drive so slow it takes 30 minutes to go 9 miles. This taxi can only take one road out of the town. And how convienient, the jungle bar is the last building of the village that the road goes by. What would this fool do? I know he knows the whole villiage. Would be get beat right outside our cabin? Whould the taxi driver be his brother? Will the taxi take us to the mountains and drop us off in the middle to get beat? Will the fool just shoot us and have everybody look away? I had no idea what to expect. 1000 scenarios came to my mind. If shit look bad when we walked out, then my ass would have somehow called the embasy to bring in the choppers. I was not going to be the headlines of the USA Today. 10 AMcame. We all met along with Richard. Richard missed all the action last night because he went to bed at 9:00 PM. We get to the main desk to check out. Sure enough, everybody is eyeballing us. I was like damn. Then this dude drove up on a motorcylce with a big ass tatoo coving his chest. I was just telling myself to be cool. He did no t say a work until he got within 5 feet from us. He said, "I heard you had a problem last night. I talked to the bartender and said to let everything go. Is there still a problem?" Everybody said that we where cool. I reiterated, "Nothing happend. We are cool. No problem." He shook everybod's hand, apologized and rode off. This relieved some of the tension, but we still had to get off the island. Long story stort, I am writing this email with my heart still racing. Rest assureed, I will be seeing you all again. It was not my time. Thank God. The lesson learned here is, "never do a body shot on a girl that you just met at a bar that you have never been to before." Resist the temptation. I had to share this with you because you just cant keep this shit bottled up. Hop you all are well. I am fine. Still cold chillin. I have another week, so let me get back out in the sun to get a little blacker. I need it.