T Diddy :: Your Friendly Black Dentist

I have a new movie idea that I think can work. It is about a white boy who moves from San Francisco with his images and baggage of black thugs. He moves to New York with big hopes of finding a job and an apartment. In doing so, his only path is through Harlem where he has to sleep on a friends couch and walk through what may seem a perilous neighborhood because of all the Spanish speaking black me, the find bubblicious mamies drinking 8-ball on the corner, and the OGs chilling on the stoops on a wonderful spring day. He arrives with his Palo Alto preppy gear on and his handbag walking with a strut to his destination of 935 St. Nick. Instantly, he becomes acquainted by going to the corner mercados dominicanos, buying beers. Walking to the 1,9 train down los calles de los barrios eager to sit and stand next to all the brown people he would call thugs in Cali. Each day you see the transition of how he is warming up and beginning to accept that he is in more in touch with brown people. Walking down the street, the homies look at might say this white boy is crazy, but the cool calm black soul of this yogurt covered raisin lets them know that he is down. He finds a job and then seeks housing in Harlem and the Heights as he now is forever changed by the browness he was exposed during 1 month. The story continues with his experiences of his interactions with the Puerto Rican and Dominican ladies. His prowlness and quick wit makes the loose mamies take the panties down quick. The movie will eventually end with my man marrying a Puerto Rican mami having about 5 kids. "A Monkey in Harlem" will be a smash in the Box Office. I have to go and call Spike.

Make no mistake about it, I am a big sports fan. However, recent events and actions have started to make me believe that I am not longer a huge fanatic of my sporting teams. An arguement for tihs could be that I have no sense of player loyalty as the composition of my beloved teams’ changes dramatically each year. Seriously, how can any true Lakers fan root for Karl Malone or a Gary Payton. These two players have been keen enemies of the Lakers for their entire careers. Now, because of free agency, there is a mechanism that essentially says that it is okay to acquire bitter enemies and make the fans root for them. I do find this hard to do, but this is not the reason why my fanaticism is dying. I sit back watching the NBA playoffs without a drop of emotion or an urge to show some excitement. The Lakers - Rockets series was boring in the first round. Hell, all the games in first round were terrible. Maybe, my dying love is because of the diluted product on the court. The quality of basketball and the cohesion of teamwork have diminished to a point that any street-baller from The Ruck could step up and score 20 and 10 in a given night. The issue lies that the talent is watered down with the number of teams, the proliferation of high school prodigies that take up roster spots as they wait 4-5 years to groom into a decent NBA player, and the disruption of teams with free agency. These days are no longer the days when every year when Magic, Scott, Worthy, Kareem, and Cooper would go against the evil greens with Bird, Ainge, DJ, Parrish, and McHale. Every year you could expect a war between the Celtics and Lakers. Now, the rivalry is solely based on the loss in the playoffs from the previous year. However, this does not explain my emotionless viewing of the Lakers-Spurs series. The Lakers lost 2 straight in San Antonio. I felt like the Lakers should have lost those two games and that they have to win the next two at home if they want to stay in the series. That is all I felt. Years ago, I would be so upset I would were the emotion of my sleeve. My nights would be ruined and my sunny days would be full of rain. Now, I simply say, "Oh well!". I know I am still a fan. I am one of the biggest fans of the Lakers on earth. I am a bigger fan of the Lakers then Shaq. I was screaming Lakers before he even set foot in the Golden center court circle. What is going on with this greatest fan that simply puts 1 fist in the air after a game 3 victory over the Spurs last night? The Lakers did what they had to do and for that, there really should be no great response. Am I wrong? I feel that my passion is still there, but my expression is gone. The only logical reason why I have become like this is because I am older. It takes to much energy to get all worked up over a ball game. There are other things that consume my energy now. I remember when I was growing up, my dad was so calm about games and I promised myself, I would never be like him when I grew up. I would always have the energy and passion to root for my beloved teams. Well, that time has come and when the Lakers beat the Spurs you will get a only a big smile and 2 pumps on the chess. Anything else takes too much energy.

This past Monday I played in my first competitive Softball games since my senior year intramural league. The skills are still there, but they are diminished. I was 2-4 and had 2 RBIs. I should have had a HR, but my 3rd base coach told me to slow down. That bastard! That is not the big story. The big story is the pain that I am in now. My elbow hurts when I bend it and my hammys bark with every step. This is miserable. I remember I could play hoops all day and every day without an thought about it. Now, you will not catch me on the court. If I have pain from softball, I don't want to imagine the pain of basketball. You will not be seeing this brotha on the court any time soon. The pain is too real.

Let it be known that some of the worst sport fans in the world are King Fans. Simply put, King fans do not have a winner’s mentality and do not expect to win. They want the championship to be handed to them. To inform you all, you have to go out and win the championship. I am sick and tired hearing about Horry's lucky shot, only if Webber was healthy, and we are short-handed. They were not crying about depth earlier in the year when everybody was saying they had the deepest bench in the league. I am already tired of hearing about KG's 3 point shot being luck. The King's are not winners and the neither are the fans. Winning is a mentality and they do not have it. The worst attribute of King Fans is that they may actually hate the Lakers with more energy than they like there Kings. An example is my roommate. Michael Thomas was somehow was converted a Kings fan in 1998 or 1999. This was right around the point in time when they started making the playoffs. Yes, the point of time when we all had to see the backward fans bring cowbells to a basketball game (no comment). With his 5 years of support, he was devastated after the loss last night. He has been talking shit the whole year and even that they were going to sweep the Wolves after the Kings won game 1. He even had to throw in the fact the Lakers were going to be swept after being down 0-2 to the Spurs. This statement actually indicates that he was really following the Lakers and wanted them to lose. This mentality is just like a Kings fan. His year long shit talking that the Kings are the best finally came to an end last night. What was amazing was that after 2 seconds of mourning, he popped his head of the white fluffy pillow and stated, "As long as the Lakers do not win!" What? What kind of mentality does this fool have? What kind of mentality do Kings Fans have? Your team just lost! Be quiet! Don't tell me how you don't want the Lakers to win. You have no room to talk mess because the Lakers are on in the Conference finals. I tried to be a good roommate and let him mourn without any snide remarks. Well, that ended when he started in on the Lakers. The difference between Lakers and King fans is straight forward. Lakers fans expect to win and do not really care who they play. They do not typically hope another team loses. They love the Lakers with 100% of there energy; where as the King fans do not expect to win. They want the wins to be given to them. Because of this, they are more spirited anti-Lakers fans than they are King Fans. However, I must say that I did love the fact that the Kings lost last night. Not because I was rooting for the Wolves, but because it put all the lousy Sac fans back in there place. It is great knowing that they must sit back and watch the Lakers advance. The city of Sacramento has a long way to go before they can develop a winning team, a winning attitude, and winning fans. They all know that they are really a bunch of sorry as Queens. Viva Shaq!!

There is one simple pleasure in life that many people tend to overlook. It is an event that allows you to enjoy nature, enjoy a cold brew, converse with friends and even spend time with family. I am not talking about an holiday like Thanksgiving. Holidays often lead to family drama of some sort. I am talking about the simple, but wonderful magic of Bar-b-queing. There are very few things that can beat a BBQ. This is true by the emotions I had this past weekend as I attended my first BBQ in more than 2 years. I was in Staten Island, the few places in NYC that you can enjoy the times in a back yard, queing it up. It was fantastic. The chicken flavor was saturating the air as the warm sun rays glistened the beautiful brown sking of my peoples. The brew was chilling in the frosty iced coolers. However, I was chillin more thinking of times past as my dad would make me break out the chemicals to clean the white plastic patio chairs. I was hepnotized by the sounds of Franky Beverly singing "Whoaeee whoa e ooooo e oooooo!" before "he let go" (not sure my non-black brethen can feel me on this one). Times like this make you live it up in the present, but also live in the past as all BBQs are great times. I know that when I leave NYC, the first thing that I am going to do is get a place next to some cool neighbors and buy a BBQ grill, get the black charcol, fire it up and watch the chicken smoke as I sind along to "A Funky Good Time" as I dig in the scene with a gansta lean whoo woooooo!