T Diddy :: Your Friendly Black Dentist

I am sitting in my empty Organic Chemistry room taking a break thinking about how numb my damn bottom lip is. The doctors say that the original feeling can return anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months. In some cases more. Well, I will tell you all something. It better be more towards the 3-week deal because having a constant numbing sensation 24 hours a day in your lip and face sucks!!
I will be concluding my 2nd week of recovery this Thursday from my major jaw reconstruction surgery. This means that I have about 4 weeks left of a liquid diet and the time left for the majority of my major healing. I hope in the future when I look back over this pain and suffering, I determine that the suffering was worth it. However, right now, I am tired, weak, sick, numb, full of drool, and I cannot talk to save my life. I am miserable. I see a beautiful girl and I want to say hello. I can't do it unless I want to say, "alllooo" fighting the drool from running down my chin. There is a massive amount of blood in the jaw region or in my head (the head on my shoulders). All this does is allow me to sweat more easily when I walk or talk. Everybody who knows me knows that I do not need any more assistance to sweat. I am a pig when I sweat. However, I am a sexy one. I do not feel right. I am professor Klump appearance. When I walk, my legs are not strong. My awareness dampened. My sight is worse. My body is in complete shock from this surgery. I now know what it feels like feel like a weak man. I took it for granted, as I am strong. A soldier! I have even lost all sex drive. This is not to say that I have something to bang, but the hormones that allow me to "Wow" when a woman with back walk by, or throw my charismatic game to a sexy mama is not there. I sit there limp and helpless. I may be calling Bob Dole as a personal consultant.
The positive of this experience is that I have already did it. I have healed for 10 days and that is 10 less than I have to still. I will be able to eat pizza and sandwiches like normal people too. I will be able to take a bite and not leave behind the cheese or lettuce and tomato. I will need to eat all I can when I can too. I am shedding the weight. I think I already lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. This is not cool. Some say it is, but I like by big appeal. Fools recognize and they don't mess. Only 4 weeks left and if anybody can do it, I know I can. Like Professor Klump says, "Yes I can!"

The campaigning against Bush is beginning and I will be doing an active part.
Dubya

I am beginning to question why I live on the East Coast. Yes, New York is the best city in the world with its endless energy and abundance of culture. Yes, here you are able to drink cafe like the French. You can go to Washington Heights and eat some grubbing comida dominicana. When the urge hits, you can run down to SoHo and shop at some of the best shops in the world. Of course there is always the option to to a bar and pay $15 for a martini. Where else in this world can you do this? New York is a city. A city of life. A life full of many things. New York cannot be beat. But! But, the weather has become depressing. Spring is almost here. Yet, the weather is still in the 30's. This is the 5 consecutive month of cold, cold weather. I am sick of it. I am pale. I cannot handle hearing that California is toasting in the 80's. I think it is time that I go buy a $15 martini to drink away the blues and bitter cold.

I am going mad baby! March madness is officially here. Come Thursday and Friday, I will be posted in the bar watching the NCAA tourny. This is the best time of year where it is about ball, booze, and brackets. This is a time when I have to avoid the babes as they will try to distract me from the best ball on earth.

Kids have a difficult time controlling there excitement for big events that will arrive soon. For example, during Christmas, Kids cannot wait until they can tear off the decorative paper of their gifts to play with new toys and they consistently bagger their parents to open a gift early. Another example is when the parents promise a trip to Six Flags or Disneyland. The thought of Mickey Mouse instantly raised the blood pressure and excitement of the kids to a point where they cannot breath or sleep. There is not much a parent can do to help the kid's with there issue. The only tool at their disposal is the natural passing of time. Eventually, kids grow into mature adults and are no longer affected by the coming of Christmas or a trip to an amusement park. However, with this growth and development, this ailment becomes something more serious. This is what I will call Acute Fantasy Behavior Syndrome (AFBS). This is the inability to control ones emotions or eagerness as the fantasy draft time approaches. This also involves the sickness of allowing player performance control the emotional outcome of the person's day. With this complicated syndrome, I will focus on the first issue.
First their is not one day more important than Draft Day. This thought alone is why one suffers from AFBS. Indeed, this is not true, but my friends, to a fantasy player, it is. This day is the ultimate forum to show the skills to outwit, outperform, and outplay your fellow fantasy owner. This is where you can show your astuteness and acumen for the game. This is where the basis for intelligent shit talking stems from. Yes, this is why you play this game. Shit talking is an intangible trophy that allows one to brag and boast about how great they are and how knowledgeable they are about a game. This sensation can only be surpassed by the 3 S's (Sex, Sleep, and a Shit). Hence, the great desire to erase time and immediately start the draft.

During the season, you see the true colors of all owners. It is truly amazing. The first case is Mark. He is smug cocky owner who bitches about everything. He even bitches about winning. Then there is Los. He is a slick savvy owner who is not afraid to pull a trigger on a trade and will not become too attached to a player. Yes, he is a smooth brother or something more like a pimp in real life. Let us not forget about JD who just talks shit and only trades with his Italian Brethren. In real life, he talks shit and is family oriented. Then there is Reyes. Reyes is a quiet, confident intelligent owner who constantly moves and tries to find any little intangible advantage over the other person. In real life, Reyes moves every other year to a new location seeking the advantage over the other person. I suppose his advantage in AZ is that he now has Sun and cheaper prices over fools in CA, NYC, and WA. I don't want to forget Bart. Bart always wants the sleeper and is willing to take the risk to make the big gain. Bart is high risk and high reward. In real life, Bart is a huge gambler and will frequently make trips to Indian Reservations to curve his urge. These case examples do not prove anything. All this proves is that I am desperately trying to pass time as I wait for my Baseball Draft to start in 1.5 hours. Yes, I am a sick man.

I have one question.

Q: What is worse than having a surgery that does not allow you to look normal in the face due to swelling, does not allow you to talk normal due to prolong and intense numbing, and does not allow you to eat or chew solid foods for a 6 week period of time?

A: Having the surgery again because of a relapse.