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IS THIS IMAGINATION OF MINE EVER GONNA MAKE ME SOME MONEY?

So I'm strolling with my baby. She is snoozing. It's a nice walk. Gentle breeze. Pretty sunset. Green grass. Kids on bikes. It's nice. But wait! A dog barks. Maniac dogs! What will I do if they attack? I have my baby! For God's sakes, these dogs could jump my baby and tear her throat out! Killer dogs! Good grief! I will throw my body in front of her stroller and offer my arm to the rabid, crazy dogs. They will gnaw on it while I unstrap Alex from her infant seat. Where will I put her? Why, there! I 'll roll her under that garage door. It's open a crack. She'll fit and the mutant dogs can feast on my juicy flesh while my baby enjoys her cement sanctuary. Hold on! What if the garage door slit is open just enough so the dogs can slide in after her? Then, I'll be left outside and my baby will be food for dogs! Plus, she's juicier than I am! Hound dogs love juicy babies. Eeveryone knows that.

Wait!! I'll throw her over that fence. Because she might survive that. But she definitely won't survive bloodthirsty dogs tearing at her throat. Yes! The cards are stacked in her favor with the fence scenario. That's what I'll do!

And I left my house 3 minutes prior. There's still the Zombie Park Teen-ager Attack! and the Man Driving By Slowly Who Tries to Grab Us, But I Pretend to Inject Him with a Neurotoxin Stored in my Take-Along Hypodermic and He Gets So Scared He Drives Off! murder attempt.

I hope you enjoyed this 5-minute glimpse into my brain. And if you think that was scary, try owning the brain in question. Ow! It hurts!!

Comments (284)

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Didn't they teach you these things in the classes you took before giving birth? I thought it was common knowledge.

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They were all playing cards on the Enterprise, with Picard joining at last, which I assume was a sign of change, but not much of one. Everybody was in pretty much the same position theyd been in for seven years. Troi ended up with Riker, whom shed started with. Picard still wasnt able to admit he was in love with the doctor!

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As I said, I dont think this was the 1st use, but frankly such history isnt of interest to me. Im sorry if this info is a disappointment Im not looking to burst anyones bubble, however from your comment:

I can make up plausible hypotheticals too.

This country, the US of A is such a totally insane blob of land on the global map. We call this a free country and look how the freedom of minorities is being trampled time and again. This is the ONLY COUNTRY in THE WEST where religions been dealt such a prominent role IN PUBLIC LIFE. Its as if were still smack in the middle of the damned 19th century if not much earlier. A real disgrace. Sod off with your crazy anachronistic ideas about marriage and the so-called natural order of things. Homosexuality is to be found everywhere in nature, btw. Numerous books and articles have written about this proven fact. Down with religion, especially Christianity and Islam, Theyve brought more than enough suffering into this world (particularly towards women, gays and children). Out with yall!!!

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