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I'm a hypochondriac, for God's sake.
I always thought there was some cosmic rule that all physical symptoms experienced by a hypo is in their head, and not manifested biologically.
We're supposed to be doomed to a life of imagining bodily dread and disaster....not actually experience one.

So, why, why, does a woman who fears needles and all things medical need to be subjected to one injection and two blood tests in one week...ONE WEEK!

Not to mention, there are many more to come.

Turns out I am RH-negative, which means my blood type is toxic to the fetus and I need to get injections 2-3 times throughout my pregnancy. Not horrible, I know.

BUT, I also tested positive for a freaky test that checks for autoimmune diseases like syphilis and lupus! So, I return to the lab today for follow-up tests. Debbie does not like follow-up tests. Debbie does not like labs. Debbie is has issues. Debbie sings to her veins to make them more pliable and impervious to pain. The song is sung to the tune of the Carpenters "Close to You."

OK, the song is the Carpenter's "Close to You." I want my vein to know I love it and am happy it was born and that is why all the boys (all the boys) in town follow it (follow it) all around (all around)...because just like me they long to be close to you.

I hope that song makes it happy.

Comments (5)

m.:

You know, your choice of song is totally endearing.

My happiest congratulations to you, too, if I didn't already offer them.

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