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Why Can't I be the Skinny Monkey?

Poor Kev.

First, some guy at the gym calls him a skinny monkey, and now my co-worker says he's gaunt.

My best friend thought the latter was hilarious, got drunk and started calling Kev, "The Gaunt One," like he's got the starring role in a Stephen King Dark Towers epic. I riffed on that and labeled Kev "Gaunt-Alf."

Both names have stuck like the evil alliance between Sauron and Saruman.

Now what'll I do with my Skinny Monkey collection? Do they sell Ian McKellan busts on E-Bay?

Comments (172)

any nickname with "monkey" in it is a keeper in my book. i lurve me some monkeys.

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Actually, your brother's nickname is "Monkey". It was a nickname he was given in high school because he flails his long arms like a monkey and jumps around spastically.

Also, his face resembles that of an elderly chimpanzee....

You forgot his ape-like feet...and limp-like mottled banana peel toes.

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