Holding it in for 21 years
There was this one time in 8th grade when I was hanging in the principal's office with some kids I knew and John Caruso made me laugh and I totally farted.
It was like an SNL skit, I'm telling you: one minute we're all laughing and the next everyone is just staring at me, not saying a word.
THAT was the first mile on my gastro-intestinal road to hell.