Debbie Does Drivel

A CHODE IS A CHODE IS A CHODE

The bachelorette party on Friday was fun.

A man showed me his 12-inch penis.

How this came to be:
I was outside with the bachelorette smoking some menthol junk you only smoke when you don't really smoke but you think it would be cool because you're drinking. As we were smoking, the man's friend who gave us the menthol crud said quite out of the blue, "Jack has a 12-inch penis flat."

We knew what he meant, although flat was a strange way to describe it. However, it did turn out to be true.

So Jack, who was wearing an untucked shirt over his jeans looked a little embarrassed, but also proud.

I looked down at his leg and saw the tip of this thing clearly outlined halfway down his thigh, almost to his knee.

So then his friend says, "He'll show you! He likes to show it!"

And me and Michelle, we're like "No way! This is so bacheloretty! We can't pass this up."

And I'm saying something stupid like, "The tip! The tip!" in a spot-on Tattoo from "Fantasy Island" imitation because I couldn't think of what else to say.

And next thing we know, out it comes and it had almost as many square feet as Fantasy Island, but was no fantasy, because it really was flat! And wide! Like a mushy two-by-four! And although gross and unseemly, it did make us feel like proper bachelorettes.