I felt the need to take an hour getting ready for San Diego's Thunderboat Regatta this afternoon.
Sleeveless flim flam top? Check.
Miniskirt? Check
Chunky toe-baring shoes? Check.
Flippity-Do Hair? Check.
Glossy lipstick? Check.
Hoop earrings, funky sunglasses, and fake tan? Check. Check. Check.
Flash forward two hours:
Buddha tummy full of chips, guacomole, and Mike's Hard Lemonade? Yep.
Ill-Fitting skirt bunching around upper thighs? Uh-huh.
Gimpy gait caused by painful wedgies? Sho nough.
Limp omnidirectional hair plastered to forehead? You bet.
Fine sand particles clumped in lumpy lipstick? Yes sir.
Bloody left ear caused by child's misguided tug on hoop? Nose indentation from J.Lo specs? Streaked brown stripes on lower calf?
Es verdad. Creo que si. Si, Dios Mio!
I know better, my friends. Yes, oh yes. I know better.