Further Proof that a Real-Life Grown-Up Job May Not be Right Around the Corner
I have this thing I do around the house.
I get real serious, turn my grave expression on Kevin or my sister, and ask, "Please. I need to know: Why is it that you smell so bad?"
They look at me.
I say, again: "Don't sideline this. I really need to know why you smell so bad?"
Usually they don't answer. Sometimes they play along and come up with legitimate reasons why they might smell.
My sister regularly says, "Because I didn't wipe my butt," or "No, you do."
We laugh.
This morning, I woke up at 7AM and shuffled out to the living room where Kevin was making his work schedule.
I solemnly tapped his shoulder, and started," Honey. Yeah. Um...(adopting a "we need to talk" tone), I forgot to ask you this last night, but I really have to know why you smell so bad."
After I got his version of "the hand" (a wave-off with the mechanical pencil), I tried to involve him in the jocularity, and prompt a response that my sister would have. "Is it because you forgot to wipe your butt?"
He's not happy with me.
So, I go back off to bed, saying over my shoulder, "Honey, it's OK, because I'll still love you, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd do something about the smelling-bad thing."
Since I wasn't able to indulge him in this infantile roleplay, I waited anxiously for my sister to return home, so we could play.
I decided to go another route from the smell game.
Walking over to where she lay on the couch, I pretended to pick my nose, telling her, "I'm going to wipe this booger on you."
She goes, "Oh yeah! Come on! I love boogers!"
So, then I take a piece of lint, goober it up, place it on my fingertip and walk over to her.
Lots of hijinks ensued, and we had lots of fun dodging manufactured boogers and faux-plucked butt hairs.
Kevin then came home. Pausing in the doorway, looking pissed, he grumbles, "You guys smell."
It's lots more fun when people ride with you on the Regression Train.