It's Been A Week
My obsessive personality at work:
I spent the last week waking early, logging into Monster, sending out the appropriate version (there are 10) of my resume, crafting interesting and dynamic cover letters, contacting friends to ask they keep their eyes open, making lists and schedules and phone calls.
I've prepared for interviews, wrote talking points, blowdryed my hair into presentable submission...
Jumped onto my computer over-regulary, checked e-mail minute-by-minute, gathered writing samples, faxed papers, filed paperwork.
And, now? I've burned myself out.
I know I do this! I have geneological precedence. There are pick-a-project-up-and-wring-it-dry-then-abandon-it-like-a-dishrag-left-to-harden-and-crust-on-the-linoleum molecular structures in my blood.
Yesterday, quite plainly, I felt I might lose my one-handed grip on sanity. Plus, it did not help that I was waiting in a post office line.
Do you know those jars of flourescent slime kids sometimes play with, throwing mucoidal giblets everywhere?
I felt like the jar represented my head, the slime, my thoughts. I could not keep a hold on the contents of my head. My thoughts were shape-shifters, ever-morphing, slobbing over the edge, and I couldn't get my fingers around them.
They defied outline, like I'd squeezed them silly, and they just slopped around, invertebrate and floppy.
Today, will be my day off.
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