WE’RE THE ONLY ONES WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON...
“You know what she needs to do?” I said. “Get rid of him. Just once and for all. I mean, it’s not like he makes her happy or anything.”
“I know,” Lisa returned. “And can he be stupider? He’s like a bag of charcoal. And not even a full bag. He’s a few briquets.”
I agreed. “He’s definitely not anything harder than charcoal, though. Like rock or anything. He’s exactly like charcoal. It’s a weird analogy, but I get what you’re saying. He’s soft, crumbly, porous. Charcoal.”
Lisa nodded. “Yeah and it’s not like the adjectives you just used typically describe a person. But I completely see what you mean.”
I was right there with her. “And, hello?” Could she be stupider? It’s like she’s the chef and she really doesn’t know how to use the barbeque and she takes out this pretty much empty bag of charcoal and has no clue what to do with it.”
“Uh-huh,” Lisa concurred. “I mean, does she even cook?”
“Obviously not,” I said. “Those two are so stupid.”