So I start not feeling good Thursday night, when I feel a swollen lymph node in my neck. Then, my whole throat feels lumpy and swollen and hot. I feel rundown and dizzy. Friday night, I could not partake of beverage as I miserably counted the hours until we could repectably leave our friend's party. I am feeling a little out of it, and I don't censor myself as I might usually when in conversation. In fact, I pretty much act like "my real self" in public -- the one Kevin and my family know well. This means I am weird, meandering, stream-of-consciousnessy. This means I say things like, "I have to poo."
A couple of times, I think I may have embarrassed Kev, though he never told me so.
I truly could not apply boundaries to how I acted. It's like I was all out there and you couldn't make me obey social mores if you tried. I was too low-energy to apply any effort to watching what I said.
At any rate, I continue not feeling good. Saturday, I couldn't go on the weekly gals hike because I felt so exhausted. The lump in my neck is still there. When Kev and I go out to dinner Saturday night, I had to cut it short because I felt dizzy, numb, and light-headed.
Sunday is pretty much the same. So I get on the Internet and search for "throat cancer."
This is what I have.
Despite my illness, I make it to a BBQ Sunday night and come home early to sleep.
I happen to look into my throat Monday and see an ugly mass in the back of my throat where my tonsil should be. It is a tumor-like growth.
Back to the web, where I see throat cancer can be caused, in part, by excessive alcohol and nicotine use. Check one. Check two.
Tuesday, I call the doc and get in for an appointment. Though down and out, I am able to go rollerblading that evening with my speech pathologist friend, Lisa.
She knows the throat well. She looks into my mouth and says, "Oh. There is something there. I just thought you were being a hypochondriac."
She doesn't know what the growth is, but looks concerned.
So, this AM I saw the doctor, who told me that the thing in my mouth WAS my tonsil and it is inflamed and that it is probably caused by sinus trouble. She gave me nose spray and ordered a CAT scan of my sinuses.
So, hopefully, no throat cancer...but what if they find a brain tumor?
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